Little Reminders, Part 2

I received some shocking news a few days ago-

One of my close friends lost her mother, and in an undesired circumstance, not that any death is desired, really. She committed suicide, leaving a husband and two children behind, not to mention the rest of her beloved friends and family.

The whole event got me to thinking -

How fast life can change, how quickly you can lose someone, and how easily we grow apart.

I am so thankful to have my friends and family in my life right now - they do so much for me and I can never thank them enough. And that is just the problem. I don't thank them enough, or say that I love them enough, or keep in touch with them the way I should. I get so caught up in my own life and my own business that I push everything else off to the side. And to think that in one night, all that can change. In one night, my failure to appreciate those around me, I can lose them. In one night I will never get that chance to express my appreciation again. It's scary. Terrifying.

And what a terrible way to be reminded - I wish that I did not happen as it has. That girl has been through so much - every trial imaginable, and somehow she hangs on. She manages to find the strength to get through another day, and I respect her beyond belief. I will never understand her ability to get by. I can barely struggle through my own, seemingly minor issues of stress and worry, let alone the trials that she is dealing with. I could not imagine the pain that she feels.

We have grown so apart in the past year, and I fear that there is little I can do to help her, and that hurts me almost as much as knowing that she is hurting.

I called my own mother multiple times in the past few days, in almost panic. I wanted to be with my family because I didn't want to lose them, but work has been keeping me away. I was stressed about my future - the expensive plans that I have, the preparation I must do, the money I do not have. Those minor things built up with the fear of loss tore me apart and there was nothing I could do but cry on the phone to my mom and talk it out.

It's strange how much the events of one's life can affect your own - how one's sorrows can hurt you so deeply that you feel they are your own, or that you feel they will become your own.

Nonetheless, it has been a roller coaster of a week. I want only to be there for those of my friends who are hurting, and be there fore my family as I miss them, and miss being home, more and more as time goes on. And this is only increased by my friend's loss. Realized because of my friend's loss.

Don't let those close to your heart slip away - don't forget them and don't let them forget you. Don't let them hang unappreciated and unloved, because life is only a short breath is span of things. Time is short and days are short - we have what is here and in front of us and that is all.

Don't wait, and don't let stress and worry and "business" get in your way, or stop you from living and loving. It maybe necessary for a time, but it is not worth it, ever. People are worth it.

Peace and Love.