Flying on Planes

Have you ever looked for shapes in the clouds while you're flying high above them?

Have you ever watched the sun reflect off the moisture in the air- scattering warm displays of radiance?

Have you ever followed the pale white ground of the heavens until it fades to the brilliant blue of infinity?

Come fly with me. There is beauty in the air and we miss it every day with our feet so permanently on the ground.

Live, for a day, with your head in the clouds and tell me what you see.

Peace and Love.

How To Be Alone by Tonya Davis

I recently read the poem "How To Be Alone" by Tonya Davis. I don't remember how I came across it...random stumbling around on the internet. But it caught my attention. Tonya goes through the steps of acclamating onesself to the idea of being alone- from having coffee alone to going to dinner alone to going to the club alone and dancing like no one's watching, "because they probably aren't," as she puts it. Sometimes this can sound so appealing, and yet, seems like such a silly idea.

We are so absorbed in meeting people- connecting with them- adding them up and having the most friends, whether we are close with them or not. It's a game, a competiton, a distraction. We are surrounding ourselves with people and things to keep us from ourselves.

As I'm sitting here, on this plane, quite litterally flying solo, I'm having a hard time just sitting with myself. Ibwant to talk to the people sitting next to me, or text people on my phone that is always with me, or blog tobmy readers, or read something engaging. I can't just....be. Why?

I guess it's less of an inability to be alone, and more of a lack of desire to be alone. But again, why?

Is it a need to keep up with appearances- to keep up with the social norm of popularity? Is it a dislike of things that might cross my mind, or a fear of them? Is it because I am so used to being busy or occupied that I simply don't know how to stop?

I guess it's a good thing that I have this whole flight on my own to think about these things, as the man sittig next to me plays Angry Birds, as absorbed in his electronic life as I am; and as the people around sit with their spouses and their magazines, oblivious to the moments flying by.

Common Ground

“If we cannot yet reconcile all opinions, Let us endeavor to unite all hearts.” -Robert Owen, 1832

We all have something in common with whoever is sitting next to us; across from us; near us. We have something in common with people far away from us too; the whole world. 

We have so many different opinions and viewpoints; different beliefs. We are individuals - we are our own  people. It's something advertised, acknowledged and encouraged on a regular basis. 

And yet, there is still so much hatred. We don't like people who are different from us in the wrong ways. We don't like people who are radical or "weird." These differences set up blockades between us; we can't see around them. 

But really, we have something that we can share in, unite it, or believe in together. We just don't spend the time looking for it. We stop at different and don't move on to similar. 

So why not try to find things that you agree on? Hell, agree to disagree if that's all you can discover - but I know there is something more. There is something beneath the surface that you're missing. 

Set a goal for yourself. Find the things you share with people, and let them unite you against the hatred of diversity. 

Dive in to your differences and land on common ground. 

Peace and Love.

"I Never Said That," And Other Drama Causing Situations

So, recently I had a conversation with friend that I hadn't spoken to in a while.

I mean, we'd conversed when we had to- business and the like- but we hadn't had a real conversation, friend to friend.

It came up that we weren't as close as we used to be.
Well, rather, it was dumped on me that we weren't close friends anymore. I mean, I could tell something was wrong considering the talking situation, but I didn't think that we just weren't friends. I'd figured it was a bit of misunderstanding that could be worked out and needed time.

Anyway, that piece is hardly to the point. That is another story.

We began talking about where we were as friends, and I mentioned that I have a difficult time having friendships in business situations, and that I keep my friendships fluid in that respect. If we are not working together, we can be really good friends. But once we start working together, it has to be understood that I will remove myself and that we will have an extremely professional relationship. And once the job is done, we can go back to being friends. But when I am stage managing, or trying to lead, it's difficult to define friendship and also define a chain of command and a chain of control. Feelings are bound to get hurt. So I don't even go there.

We sort of continued talking but I never got her side.

I found out later that what she heard was "I only want to have a professional relationship with you."

That's not what I meant at all, and I hope, after all that I said, that that wasn't what it boiled down to.

It got me thinking- about all the conversations that we have with the people around us. Do we ever consider how they listen? How they need to be spoken to? Is it even important?

People say "accept me for who I am." I preach love and acceptance almost every day. We want people to accept us for who we are. If I word things in a round about manner than people should work out a way to deal with it.

At the same time though, we need to accept other people. If they listen in black and white manner, then we should accept it and deal with it.

So. Do I change the way I speak to certain people, or is it their problem if they don't understand it?

Or is there a compromise. <-- I believe that this is the ticket. But the problem is, how do you reach the compromise without the argument that ensues after the misunderstanding. The "you said, I never said, sounded like to me, he said she said" arguments. We can't all be completely perceptive of how every single person functions. We are how we are, and what we are is human. We all speak in our own way and hear in our own way.

So at what point does twisting what people say to you become a problem or a disorder instead of just who you are? And at what point does speaking harshly become cruelty instead of just who you are? When does passivity become detrimental instead of simply a personality trait? When doe aggressive behavior become abuse?

There are fine lines everywhere..it's like a laser field out there. How do you know what you've crossed and what you haven't and how far you have yet to go?

These are questions that I have yet to answer...and maybe they will never be answered.

But the one step that I have come across is that you must first understand yourself before you can understand others. Know your own fine lines - your own issues, behaviors, and quirks. Know your flaws and your strong points. When you understand yourself, you can begin to see yourself through other people's eyes. Don't degrade yourself, and don't put yourself on a pedestal. But just..begin to understand.

Understanding and communication are the root of all connection and compromise.