I Guess Rhianna Said It Best...

My political science professor was shocked at my cynicism in class today. I surprised myself, to be honest. We were asked to write a response as to whether we though human beings were inherently good or bad. My response was as follows:

I firmly believe that human beings are inherently careless and self-centered. Each and every thing that we do is because of a selfish desire to get ahead, or to be better than someone else. We have developed governments to keep people in line and to protect our rights, but as people run for office and are elected as protectors of these rights, it is clear that we are never really safe. Politicians run for office hoping to meet their own agendas. They tell lies and make promises so that constituents will vote for them. But why does someone really want to be a politician? Because they want to change something how they think it should be; they have their own thoughts in mind. They want the power and the ability to control things. It’s selfish. And to make things worse, we are raised in a society where we are taught not to care. If sister is watching my little pony and you want to watch batman, all you have to do is walk down the hall, to your own room with your own things and your own television, and you can watch batman. And we wonder why our children can’t share. We wonder why there is a problem with bullying in the hallways. We wonder why we struggle with religious intolerance; why we have world wars. We wonder so many families suffer through divorce, and why our children leave home and don’t return. It’s because we don’t care enough. We don’t pay attention enough to fix the issues as they come. We just let it happen, because we are getting our way and we are getting ahead and that’s all that matters. People are shit and that’s all there is to it.

Rereading this and retyping it really makes me think about how much I have changed in the past few months; even the past few weeks. I guess, you get burned enough times and you start to learn how the world really works. I mean, I still believe that there is a positive side to everything; I still believe that everything happens for a reason; and I still believe that everything is worth it; but there comes a time when you start to regret trust, and you start to regret softness. You can’t just be nice, because people will walk all over you and people will take advantage of you, and before you know it, you have nothing left but someone else has built an empire. Instead you need to have leather for skin and you need to forge through and care about yourself and put yourself first so that you can be the one with the empire.

But why? Why do I need an empire? To be honest, I need an empire because the empire in someone else’s hands means I have the potential to get hurt.

And it shouldn’t be like that.

Writing that response made me want to change so badly, because there are exceptions to the rule, I know it. But who’s to say those exceptions aren’t doing it selfishly? And the truth is there isn’t. I know I help people because it makes me feel good. I like having people come to me and tell me things – it makes me feel good to know that I am trustworthy and that people think I care. But is that so wrong? If we all wanted to care and wanted people to know we cared, we would try harder. I want to get rid of the thought that we are so terrible. I want to think that we are good again. I want to be happy. And I want the world to change.

I want to change so badly. I don’t want people to have to think this way. And now that I have discovered this, I will put everything I have into changing and into caring. Just the fact that I have to try says something, doesn’t it? Should it be so hard to care? But that is beside the point. The point is that I don’t want to be shit anymore.

But it can’t only start with me – because getting hurt is the whole reason why nobody tries. You can only hurt so much before you burn. And I’m already on fire.

It starts with you, too.