This is something which which I struggle daily, and I am sure many out there do. When one lacks confidence, it is often something we consider to be a "lonely" emotion - It always seems, to me at least, that everyone else is already confident, and I am the only one working for it. But this is not the truth. The truth is that we all lack confidence, be it every day, every once in a while, or just at one point in our lives. We have all felt afraid - scared to put ourselves out there, scared of ridicule, scared of scolding, scared of exile.
But this universal fear is not something to revel in. We should not be happy that we are not alone in our lack of confidence. Why do we live in such a world that we should be afraid to be who we are? I you are afraid of what others think, and afraid of being wrong, why would you give someone else a reason to have that same fear?
Instead, we should be open, loving, and accepting to all that is around us. We shouldn't care if someone is different, or if we don't agree with how they are. We can still love them. Differences are what keep us interesting. They are exciting and new, and we should cherish them.
But, alas, not all people see the world in this way. Many people still judge and hate; and even those who have vowed acceptance still slip up - we still laugh and gossip. It is an easy fault. And so, in this harsh society, how does one abandon his fear of being wrong?
The answer, quite simply, is he doesn't. He cannot abandon it - it is one makes him who he is - but he can overcome it. That is the key. When one accepts that not everyone will like him, and that others are just as afraid as he is, then he will be able to step over his own fears and take the lead. If you are wrong, you are wrong, so you make another attempt and you start again. It's like the age old saying which we all seem to disregard: Live and Learn. We all make mistakes, accept it, learn from it, and move on. Should someone criticize you, take what they have to say to heart and make a change.
Now, all this is not to say that finding confidence is an easy task. As I said, I struggle every day. I find each day that I have an easier time forgetting and ignoring what others might think, but I still know that the fear is there. There are some things that I am still unable to do. But I have faith that I will get there.
I was in the office of a professor, discussing theatrical politics. I said I was afraid that people would think worse of me based on the decisions that I make and the actions that I execute. And do you know what he told me? He said: It's tough. I still struggle every day. I worry about the enemies that I might make, but you have to understand that the people don't matter. You are not in this business to make friends. You are in this business to do what you love and to do it well. So someone doesn't like you? So what? You don't need him anyway, because, odds are, someone out there doesn't like him either, and he has already moved on. It's tough, and I'm still getting there.
How much more honest could he be? He is 40, maybe 50, and he still admits to his fears and to his lack of confidence. But he cared enough to disclose his heart to me. If he made a wrong decision, he learned from it, because he is where he is today. Something worked out for him whether or not he had wrong decisions along the way.
So, take a risk. Who cares? What's the worst that could happen? You have to try again? It's easy to do things you know you can do, but you learn so much less from those tasks.
In the words of Samuel Beckett, "Ever tried, ever failed; no matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better."
Do not fear being wrong - embrace it, learn from it.
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