Learning, and Earning, from Mistakes

A while ago, a Friend of mine told me a really big secret.

It happens all the time, really, I don't know what it is. People have always seemed to be compelled to confide in me, or ask for advice. I cherish that gift with all my heart. It allows me to help others and build relationships with them. It's nice.

But this instance was different. This secret, though not a huge deal to my Friend, could destroy the Other Person involved. He told me, not in search for advice, but more just to get it out there so he could think about it. And think about it he did. I kept his secret between us, and didn't mention it to anyone. It was the least I could do.

But, here is where the story turns sour.

I was out to dinner with some friends, catching up on the latest gossip. We were discussing the Other Person. and for some reason...my want to have a part in the gossip got the best of me and I told my secret that I had kept. At the time, it didn't seem like a big deal. The table blew it off and left it alone. It was mostly an...of course that happened..moment. And so, my telling of the secret was forget, as well as the secret itself.

For the time being.

One night I got a text from a friend who I had gossiped to. He threatened to spread the secret around the department, as a way of getting revenge on the Other Person. The secret could ruin him, could hurt his confidence, cause him to withdraw from the department, destroy his future. Somehow, news of this threat got back to my Friend. He was livid. He just wanted the issue to blow over, as did the Other Person. The whole thing, basically, was blown to huge proportions.

I eventually had to come clean to my Friend. I told him that it was I who had told his secret, and basically, started the issue at hand. If it weren't for me, there would be no problem in the first place. My Friend didn't seem upset at the time. But I could tell that the scenario bothered him. He had lost faith and trust in me for a while, or so I thought. And that was the last thing I wanted. I loved his friendship and I loved how he confided in me. I never wanted to hurt him, or to destroy the Other Person.

Eventually, the issue blew over, and the secret was never spread around, thankfully. But I still felt awful. I didn't want my Friend, or anyone else involved, to think that I was a liar, or two faced. I realized my mistake and its consequences, and I began to regret that people would confide in me at all. But they still do, and I have tried my best to redeem myself with open honesty, acceptance, and understanding. But that is not the point of this story.

The point is that tonight, I received a message from my Friend. He brought up that issue from months ago - and said that although he said he would be angry at whoever told, he wasn't. That my coming clean to him, my directness and honesty about the situation meant a lot to him, and "spoke to my character." Although, I am sure, he was upset at the time, he was able to move past it and we were able to make peace.

Through all of this, though I made a terrible mistake, I was able to make up for it by facing the troubles, and my fear of losing the connection of someone close to me. By coming clean, I cleared away a mound of hurt and anger that could have come to pass.

We all make mistakes. It's what we do with our mistakes that will help or hurt us in the end.

Had I run from my mistake and avoided it as I had originally planned, my Friend would have figured it out. He would have known it was me, and I don't know how he would have reacted to that knowledge. But I cannot imagine that we would be on as good of terms as we are now.

Don't run. Stand, honestly and openly, and deal with what is coming towards you. Keeping an open, understanding mind, even in the face of mistakes and hardship, will allow you to keep a positive mind, especially in the fact that positive results will be achieved.

I hope that with this story, though vague, I can teach and others can learn. After all, that has been the best use of mistakes for ages.