The Breaking Point

Tonight was weird.
I got in a petty fight with my parents.
And I cried.
It was so stupid and unimportant and was basically solved by the end of the night.
But I sat in my car and cried.
For a good 15 minutes.

They're taking my bed home. Two and a half weeks before I move on campus and get a new one.
Is that what upset me? Not having a place to sleep?

Was it that my plans were dependent on them when I am so used to being free and on my own?

Was it that I got yelled at, like I was doing something wrong because I had my own, separate, busy schedule?

I have no idea.

But something in me broke.
I don't know if things piled up from the week..my frustration with class, not being able to see my old friends this weekend, seeing my grandparents house, thinking about Aunt Penny..
I guess a lot has been going on this week.
And I honestly didn't realize anything was wrong.
Until I snapped.

I guess, I've buried things so much that I hid them from myself.
I think that's why my posts have been so distant.
Why I can't grasp my monologues
Why I can't make real connections
Why I'm so afraid.
Because I don't even know myself.

That's quite a hard truth to take.

I don't even know what I am pulling from this that is positive.
Other than to trust those who know you. Because sometimes they know best.
Even if you don't want to believe it.

Peace and Love.